The Funny Side Of Erotica

Meet Phil - our resident funny man, with his eye on the media and the goings connected to sex, fetish and fun.

With a long history of fetish and wierd happenings under his belt, Phil find things of interest that we easily miss. Take a look at what he found...

 

 

 

Swingers In The News Again!
Another swingers festival upsets the natives: Ye ol’ villages really don’t all this grunting and groaning stuff, especially if they can’t get tickets!  I bet if there was a witch burning contest they’d soon be up for it.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3
12-09-15 source: www.dailymail.co.uk


The Future Of Sex - What To Look Our For
Oooooh this does not make good reading. In a few years from now , well a you need to mention this to your kids… you’ll all be having sex with R2D2 units. Real sexy eh? Well according to this article you will be. So, as long as it can suck, blow, and pound your bits to a pulp you’ll be happy with that…. Yeah right! Let’s just see the A&E depts fill up with accidents like…

Machine wouldn’t stop sucking
Trapped willy
Red raw cock
It’s still in there (I’ll let you work that one out)
And ... The lid shut on it!!

If this happens you just might need a mechanic for that magic threesome to sort the oil out.  And how do make a robot cum?? Well, if you do, do you get covered in WD40??.... And let’s face it, this needs to be made a realistic experience … like performing anal is going to be like fucking a metal dustbin so it’s going to hurt….. a lot! And do you program it to swallow like an Essex girl or spit your juices out in disgust.  All these questions need to be answered.

http://www.sciencealert.com/a-
18-08-15 source: www.sciencealert.com
 

Beware! Blind Prostitutes Crossing The Road
Does anyone on here have problems with hookers on the road???Any one? so no one has had to swerve round a prostitute in a desperate attempt to avoid an accident on the way to Tesco’s.  I can’t imagine London’s street teaming with hookers to the point that they’ve become a slalom course… but in Italy…….If they’ve become that much of a problem why not give them free eye tests or teach them to cross the road.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news
12-08-15 source: www.dailymail.co.uk

Swingfields 2015!
Can't stop laughing. The sound of lots of grunting and groaning has upset the locals. The sound of fake orgasms echoing for miles and miles, and people trying to shake your hand with wet fingers; It must have been horrible. .....lol. Looks like the locals have only cottoned on to this festival as this is by from the first year.

So nipping out to the local shops in ya best mini skirt may not have been welcomed as the locals would know you're one of them... ya know.... them!... "A swinger"... there ya go I said... that dirty word "swinger". Or for want of a better expression, someone that's sexually greedy followed with the words “We don’t like your kind ‘ere’. And others joining in while surrounding you saying “Yeah… you’re in league with Lucifer”. And spitting at you as you try to leave the shop quietly with your overpriced corner shop toilet roll and bottle of washing-up liquid that can double up as lube. I'm surprised they didn't get the local priest out to perform an exorcism. It’s a damn good job it wasn’t gimp night!

So if you are one of those people that went to this event. Take a bow!.... you upset the locals.................but not enough.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/
06/07/15 source: www.dailymail.co.uk


What Men Do Before Sex!
no comments needed...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wq-wxaS2PnM

OW!
India: 400 men persuaded to cut off their balls !! Seriously
Where I live we have pancake day and Easter ….. and everyone keeps their balls… even the ladies! I can’t believe not one person put their hand up and said “Errrrrrr are you sure about this ? “ or “Do you think this might hurt”.

Obviously not one person’s wife attended the meeting otherwise they’d have something to say about this while standing there with a rolling pin in one hand and tapping their feet furiously. This apparently this gets you closer to god… God spelt A&E depart, more like! But it looks like it was a successful day with 800 testicles rolling around the floor and a very confused cleaner wondering if she should use the broom or the hoover!

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/india-400-men-cut-
08/04/15 source: www.ibtimes.co.uk

 

Introducing The Ultimate Pervy Toy
Forget the selfy-stick ,forget the vibrators ( You're gonna love this ) show people you really care with a picture of......Your ovaries!!! This vibrator will take pictures of your tonsils if you push it up far enough.... But wait....there's another use for this. Yes, misjudge ( deliberately ) where your hole is and your new womb cam can turn itself into an "anal cam". It might smell a bit different when it comes out but who cares... you wanna show your loved ones your deepest crevices , but don't let stop you vaginal cave diving ; with the light on this device you can even find that long lost wedding ring that that came off your finger the last time you went fisting.
Just think with the next edition they'll include sound so you can hear every fanny fart and anal trump in surround sound. There you go, a 2 in 1 toy for the (w)hole family. Did ya see what I did there....lol

This is Phil Taylor for Erolife news signing off ; back to studio.

3 Titties!
Well if there's nothing wrong with having false tits in this day and age , then what's wrong with having 3 tits!!! Why stop there; work with even numbers, have 4 . Two at the front and two at the back. Bra's might be a problem, but sex could be reallllllly interesting. and as for breast feeding ...this just might confuse your kid. It would be like trying to drink from an empty beer can!
If she can do it, so can I. I want an extra testicle fitted so I can known as ET and be featured on the front cover of Hello magazine. Phil and his extra .....testicle. That's how you become famous these days; a drink and drug problem , something fixed on by a surgeon (preferably the right way up) and anything else that's slightly unhinged about yourself. What are you waiting for go out and be famous! This is where someone turns up with an extra arse!

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/228398/flor
23/09/14 source: www.deathandtaxesmag.com


That Has Got To Hurt!
Rough sex doesn't get any rougher than this....losing teeth with pliers!!
That has to be an orgasm from hell to NOT notice until you've cum and then thought....."Hold on a second, that was an usually smooth blow job.........where's my teeth!!!???"

Usually in a porn film the plumber has a big wrench , but in this case he had.......wait for it....he had....BIG PLIERS!!
and then there's the small queue of toothy women at the police station desk screaming "I want to make a complaint!!!".

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com
10/09/14 source: www.deathandtaxesmag.com

What Have You There?
Here’s a few women who quite clearly buy the wrong types of jeans… why not just buy jeans with extra pockets!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/1
19/08/14 source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Which Is Worth More.. Your House or Your Dick?
Yes I know, silly question, but some people might struggle to answer….some might even boast!!. This guy mortgaged his house to pay for dick LENGTHENING surgery to extend his gentleman sausage! This brings about all sorts of complicated questions like:
Exactly how big do you need your dick to be that requires this much money?
What’s wrong with a vacuum pump
What’s wrong with a hoover?.... Don’t use the brush extension it tickles!!!
Who put you up to this?
If you offer it some cheese it might come out!!
If you miss a payment can they repossess your dick?

http://gawker.com/man-admits-m
01/08/14 source: www.gawker.com.co.uk

The Best Job Ever?
Have you ever had one of those moments at work where feel really horny and you just have you get you hands into your underwear and give yourself some relief??
Well this girl has a great job. If she gets horny and fancies stuffing her holes she's more then welcome ... as a matter of fact her boss would be more than pleased (I bet your boss wouldn't be pleased...............well ask him then!! ). It's one of those subjects you haven't a hope in hell of discussing with management or work colleagues without someone being sued, getting the wrong idea, or YOUR face ending up in the local newspaper. Check out this girls job.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail
31/07/14 source: www.dailymail.co.uk

HOW?
That is all I have to say about this.... Surely the batteries would leak, go off because of all kinds of nastiness. Let's leave this one alone! NEXT!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-270401
24/07/14 source: www.dailymail.co.uk

Hear Me Out People..
This is art. No, don't use that language at me.. it is! Just go to your nearest museum, take your skirt off, take your undercrackers off, sit on the floor, and open your legs, OK a bit wider then. Now the art to this is not to get a kick in the cunt from people walking past and not to collect too much dust on your clit. Stay with me, there's more.

Now here's the trick... you just sit there, gape ya bits and hopefully you'll get a round of applause. The more applause the wider you open your legs and fanny. Have you got that.... good! Get on with it then.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0
09/06/14 source: www.huffingtonpost.com

No One Will Ever Go Near This Woman Again!
This one doesn't need much explanation. All I can say is cross your legs when reading this.

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/2
07/06/14 www.deathandtaxesmag.com

I Really Don't Want Any Salad Cream With This
I'm very grateful for the offer but we are in a library, I'm not hungry, and you don't have any lettuce or tomatoes. Feed the starving millions by all means, but I've just lost my appetite. I think it might be the curly hairs he left on the cucumber that's putting people off! The thing is, no one's going to invite him round for dinner ever again! Vegetarians will curse him forever more, and it looks like his mother never told never to play with his food ...............or masturbate with it or then again, as a child, you can't learn everything.

http://metro.co.uk/2014/06/
06/06/14 www.metro.co.uk

Fed Up Of David Cameron?
Well get your dildo out and protest. I just hope they're clean dildos. Can't be doing with people waving dildos at me with little curly hairs on them.... especially if they're sticky! And on next weeks show we talk about nipple tassels in the library. lol

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=ff1
05/06/14 www.liveleak.com

You Can't Ban These!!
Evvvvvery one loves tits, even the ones you have work with, but why in gods name with the amount of porn on the net, Facebook, and other social media, try to silence.... (big drum roll ) ......................... the nipple? Yes, the humble nipple you've enjoyed since you were evicted from your mums womb, the very nipple that brought you up. When you were a nipper that nipple was your pub, the same go crazy for now...... has now been banned. You can't look at it!.. and so what people are doing now is getting as close to the mark as possible just to wind up the execs at Instagram. Enjoy.

http://www.buzzfeed.com
04/06/14 www.buzzfeed.com

Oh Dear, Oh Dear, Oh Dear..
I don't know about you, but I like to know I can see my dick. If your dick lives in constant shadow it's time to lose some weight. You and the dick need to have eye contact, so you recognise each other.

If you've been given a bad hand in life, and wanking becomes a two fingered exercise, keep your mouth shut when trying to extend ones penis beyond the 1inch mark. Poor guy but he brought it on himself...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news
04/06/14 www.dailymail.co.uk

Caught In The Act - At Work!!!
One of the most embarrassing things to happen - people finding out you are shagging at work. Not only do you need to explain it to the boss, but maybe also foot the bill! Learn from this and use the bin....

http://metro.co.uk/2014/05/22/
03/06/14 www.themetro.co.uk

Stand Back and Appreciate This Brilliant Art. Ok Dont!
You know what you lot don’t deserve me. Week after week I trawl the news for stories to bring you news from the filthy side, to give you an “educmacation” as Homer Simpson would say. Well, today I’m going to give you a lesson in art appreciation. Not just art, but modern art.

Put your paint brushes away, we’re not going to use those. What I want you to do is take your pants (girls that is) and any underwear because we’re going fanny paint. No, not painting your fanny but painting with it. Now this isn’t going to be easy. So, we’re going to shove egg paint bombs up your tube and the rest is down to you. If you need some time practice go now, you have 5 mins.

Well, only an attention seeker would do such thing and do this in public. You’re welcome to try but don’t expect to create anything other than a mess. Less add to the mix and do this in public because there’s nothing screams “I need attention” like attention. This clip beats ping pong balls and just might impress the neighbours.

http://www.youtube.com/watch - American new report  http://www.youtube.com - German news report (more explicit)  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
16/05/14 www.youtube.com & www.huffingtonpost.com

Good News for Gay Marriage!
At last the first steps are being taken for gay marriage in the UK. Another reason for all those straight laced polititians to flip out - because they are so squeaky clean they would never do anything to be frowned upon, let alone stand up for their beliefs and desires! What a good example they are!

http://www.theguardian.com/society
07/05/14 www.thegardian.com

Flying High Makes Some Hot!
After reading about the high flying sex in a Virgin flight, I felt like booking a holiday! Enjoying the flight out is part of the trip right? How embarrassing to be handcuffed in front of your parents though.... kinky!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article
01/05/14 www.dailymail.co.uk

Any Volunteers Will Be Greatly Appreciated
Just sign here and leave your penis at the door. Something tells me a live donor is going to want it back at the weekend…OK, make that at night as well. Having no penis just takes all the fun away from getting a stiffy, but if if you’re not going to miss it, then just hand it over.

http://io9.com/the-penis-museum-hunts
01/03/14 www.io9.com

The Electric Condom
First one of the year and it’s a corker. You couldn’t make it up. The electric condom has been launched but strangely enough it’s not selling too well. I mean what could possibly go wrong with a voltage, wires and lots of moisture. So sign me up. I want to attach this to a car battery. No, make that a mains supply this'll be great anyone who likes the smell of cooked meat while having sex and not able to understand it'll malfunction. You may even find yourself fused at the groin to the victim you chosen to use this with. This brings a whole new meaning to the expression "pigs in blankets". Go on… buy one!

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2014/02/21
29/01//14 source: www.huffingtonpost.com

How Do Men Think?
I'm typing this message with a very heavily bruised balls and dicks. The reason being as this article confirms that "men think with their dicks", which to some is not news at all, but as my dick is doing all the work by thumbling it's way through a spell checker and knowing what to write, I can tell you now, it's hard work which has now given it a migraine. Sorry but I need to sit down and give it a rest.

http://gawker.com/science-confirms
07/01/14 www.gawker.com

The Most Unerotic Invention Eveer!
Would this work ? YES!!! This has to be the most unerotic invention I’ve ever come across. Seriously. If there’s a Nobel peace prize for rape, the inventor and the model are right up there for awards. Prepare to be to lose your boner or just dry up by just watching this! The voice alone will make your bits run for cover.

http://www.liveleak.com
19/12/13 source: www.liveleak.com

 

Seriously... What The Fuck Is This???

http://sexypeek.com
07/12/13 source: www.sexypeek.com

New Car Alarm From Japan
We're always told to lock our cars, don’t leave things in it that are visible, get a GOOD car alarm, but in Japan ( where else ) has taken things one step further. Take the wrong car and you could be clubbed to death with a robotic rotating dildo.

This may take some explaining at the hospital but I’m sure your injuries will heal quickly. The best way to get round this is you remove your underwear, bend over and take it until the robot runs out of steam. This might take a while so prepare for a large audience.

http://www.liveleak.com
06/12/13 source: www.liveleak.com

Banned Australian Condom Commercial
Pop down to your local chemist today and try one on!

http://www.liveleak.com
03/12/13 source: www.liveleak.com

Ever Wanted To Fuck Lady Gaga?
No? Me neither but you can in Japan. No doubt she'll get a commission for each doll. Quite frankly the thought of lots of tiny cocks cumming all over a rubber version of me doesn't do much for my ego, but it did for lady Gaga.

http://o.canada.com/entertainment
02/12/13 source: www.o.canada.com

What Women Think About During Sex

There are certain things girls talk about between themselves, stuff men shouldn’t hear. Well Jenna Marbles gives a good insight into what looks like the truth. Stuff you’d think…. But wouldn’t dare say out loud… unless you had backup!

http://www.youtube.com
01/12/13 source: www.youtube.com

What Men Think About During Sex

http://www.youtube.com
01/12/13 source: www.youtube.com


The Science of Pornography Addiction
Very interesting... now I know why I can't stop thinking about it... it's natural!

http://www.youtube.com/
28/11/13 source: www.youtube.com

I Don't Want This Jumper For Christmas - I Know Where It's Been!
I'm going to make sure my granny never see this clip and tries the same!!!!

http://www.liveleak.com/
27/11/13 source: www.liveleak.com

Don't Fight Farmers!
Some people take their fetishes too far… this is the guy your mum used to warn you about when crossing the road. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in life it’s never to get into an argument if you have a stiffy, or you’re naked let alone both! This guy doesn’t care! 

David Truscott took things too far by rolling in cow pooh!. Yep that lovely stuff you try to avoid stepping in when crossing a field to get on with your dogging. No one in their right mind thinks “ You know what…. that cow pat looks very tempting. I’ll tell you what, forget Brute 33 aftershave, I fancy fresh cow pooh and I’ll put up a good fight with any farmer that tries to stop me”…and there lies the problem.

Some poor farmer had to keep clearing his field of cow pooh because some idiot likes rolling in it naked. No threats of “Get orrrf moi Laaaand” by a farmer have stopped him so far; so now he’ll have to roll pooh in jail.
Never mind the farmer being disgusted, I bet the cows weren’t happy either!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/
17/11/13 source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Why Didn't He Use "No More Nails"?
In the UK, especially London, we have road works everywhere, it’s just one of those things you have to get used when driving, or cycling, or crossing the road when drunk. And 9 times out of ten the road works are there but no workers!!!

I don’t know what kind of road works they have in Russia, or how this bloke was digging up the road but he’s managed to nail his balls to the road! Call me insane but If I was to dig up a road I’d wear a fluorescent jacket and helmet and stand by watching cars…well that what they do in the London. I wouldn’t take them off, not look where I was swinging a hammer a nails and accidentally drive a big rusty nail through my ball sack (make that 2 ...it's got to be even numbers) into a, not so clean, road surface my balls just happen to be resting on.

Spare a thought for the poor bugger that had to remove him. Did they use a staple remove or end of a hammer to get him up??. Either way I bet his wife wasn’t happy. What's wrong with using 'No more nails', most builders swear by it.

He’ll never walk straight again and it's all in the name of performance art.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk
12/11/13 source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Seriously!
I’ve seen people argue over a woman, I’ve seen people argue over a pint, knocking into the wrong person, couples arguing, children arguing, but I’ve never seen, not even in the courts, adults arguing over a vibrator! Yes you read that right ,a vibrator, to the point where it’s about to end up in court.  A vibrator.. … seriously!! Those things you stick in your orifices because there isn’t a real cock available. Who the fuck argues about these things? Well let me tell you!

Anne Summer, who appear to hold the copyright of the name, took offence at a comedian Simove, yeah that’s right, a bloke like myself who stands on stage and tells jokes, not a company … a comedian, registering the name “Rampant Rabi”

If he’d tried to call it the same name I could understand the problem but no, he called it a “Rampant Rabi”. An object designed to do the same job as the Rampant Rabbit but designed to look like a Rabi. Where’s the problem??

It’s not like anyone is going to confuse the two. You’re not going to get hoards people complaining with “I nearly reached the point of orgasm when I suddenly thought  “is this vibrator Jewish? if it’s not then I can’t use it”. People don’t care … it's a vibrator… it’s going to get wet, it’s going to get sticky and it’s going to have little curly hairs on,  some of those hairs will be ginger!!. …..and a few of those vibrators will end up in the A&E department. I’ll let you work that one out (if you'll pardon the pun).

It’s a bit fun that should never end up in court with grown men (and woman… can’t be seen as being sexist ) saying the buyer could be confused as to whether they’re buying plain and boring Rampant Rabbit or something of a completely different design that looks like a little Jewish man.

I really can’t see anyone screaming “Holy shit… Fred come and look at this.. there’s a little Jewish man between my flaps… let me ring Anne Summers.. there has to be some kind of mistake”. It ain’t going to happen. With her husband saying ” Yeah I think you better ring them fast because there’s one stuck up my arse and he’s refusing to come out”.

A court battle would be amazing. Both will stand there, waving vibrators at a judge, and for once won’t be in contempt of court saying “Yeah… you feel the workmanship on that” with the poor judge wondering if he’s handling a new one or a used one.

Maybe people would should have signs on adult toys saying if they’re kosha or not to eliminate the confusion.
Until I read the article I was unaware that sex toys were linked to religion. Maybe someone should do a Rampant Rasta with hair all over it… no wait… just use a second-hand one with curly hairs on it and wait until they become matted, add an MP3 player, then go down to Anne Summers and say It’s Jammin!

http://www.haaretz.com
06/11/13 source: www.haaretz.com

That Squashed Grapes Feeling!!
When I go out I like both balls tucked up nicely not crushed in the corner... no wait maybe I should try what this bloke did for a snug fit.

http://www.wunderground.ie
03/11/13 source: www.wunderground.ie

Classiest Arrest Ever!
Classiest and most gentlemanly arrest ever... but please keep your hands off
my .....

http://www.youtube.com
01/11/13 source: www.youtube.com

Love Your Penis
I love my penis, I really do and there’s no way on earth I’d make him redundant not even for a moment. On that basis there’s no way I’d leave him at home either. Where I go, he goes. That’s my relationship with my dick and we’ve been best buddies since we discovered each other, and I’m sure every man’s relationship with their dick is no different…. except this bloke!!!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/
29/10/13 source: www.dailymail.co.uk

WTF is Halal Sex?
I better not say too much on this one in case upset certain groups!!!
But.. WTF is HALAL sex ??? because it better not be dead when we're gettin' down to it!

And on next weeks show the Salvation army demonstrate group sex!!!

http://www.reuters.com
26/10/13 source: www.reuters.com

A New Way Of Playing Billiards - just watch!
I have found the perfect way to learn how to play Billiards. Repeat what's going on in this clip and you'll always get a good result!

http://www.youtube.com
24/10/13 source: www.youtube.com

I Do - Would You Marry Your Car?
Ever driven a fucked up car… of course you have , you probably own one. Ok so your car is fucked. How about, have you fucked in a car?… Hmmmmm well most of have especially those of you that go dogging, but have you ever fucked a car… by that I don’t mean put diesel in a petrol car, or wrecked your ex’s car out of revenge … No no no… I mean really fucked your car????  Well here’s a guy that does fuck his car literally, not for a living.. but because he cares for it.

He’s what’s known as a "mechaphile," the term for someone sexually attracted to planes, trains and automobiles. No word on whether he treats his vehicles to an oil change first before he fingers them but I’m sure the chat up lines work wonders.

Hmmm I wonder if he’s tried anal on his vehicles ! or just goes for a handful of seat before stretching the seat belts to orgasm … Oh well , I just hope he wipes the cum from inside the windows when he’s finished!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com
21/10/13 source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Did He Cum Clean In The End?
Imagine this, you're a burglar, you break into some commercial premises,
ransack the place, find what you want, then what do you before you leave?
Nope you've failed the test, you'd make a crap burglar with your skills.
The first thing you should do is not break in anywhere, but! if you really have to... try turning the cameras off!!
In this case, not only was the burglar crap at his job...... he thought he'd reward himself by relaxing and having a wank!!! Yes that's right... a 5 knuckle shuffle before he leaves. Don't believe me?.. then watch this.

http://www.liveleak.com
21/10/13 source: www.liveleak.com

Shall We Do This In The UK?
I think the mayor Boris Johnson would have near heart failure if this went on in
Covent Garden, but in San Francisco, it's fine. 

http://www.liveleak.com/...
16/10/13 source: www.liveleak.com

Men - Can You Marry A Lesbian?
Enough to strike fear into the heart of any loving couple… not just another woman on the prowl or another man…. you have to be politically correct these days and ask (wink) but a gay one. Yes according to this clip you have to watch out for lesbians going after your man while you’re not looking, which begs the question just how much of a lesbian are these people?

Personally I think women in the clip have got their own labels wrong. They're just normal women that wants a bit your man’s arse. Typical woman…“ I want I want I want”. All to be taken with a pinch of salt.

However this is the UK and not America. So just remember your man likes to go “window shopping" just as much as you do.

Bring on the butch dykes and lets see what happens.

Enjoy!

http://samuel-warde.com/2013/
15/10/13 source: www.samuel-warde.com

 

Have Al-queda Struck Again?… no Cambridge Kink have!
... and if you don’t give in to our demands we’ll do it again!

What has Cambridge come to since I left? Oh the shame that has infected this once posh but sleepy city. I honestly thought this was some kind of very late April fool’s joke.

Cambridge is a very conservative place where the universities control a majority entertainment and land with lots of its younger residents crying out for later licenses in pub and clubs. It’s the sort of town where if you so much as sneeze or show your ankles in public you’ll be the talk of the town for many years to come. It really is that bad. I couldn’t believe what I was reading when the BBC news announced that someone in Cambridge tried to book a “village hall” for fetish event. Yes a village hall where they normally hold village get-togethers and old people swap knitting patterns.

The part of this story that made me laugh is that the group, Cambridge Kink , who booked it owned up to it in public… just like Al-queda do when they set of a bomb , then phone Al Jazeera TV say “Yeah, we did and claim full responsibility”.

Looks like the Village hall chairman was so incensed by this outrage he cancelled all further events at the hall. A Cambridge Village Hall used for a sex event… Oh lord no!!!!!...I bet he was so angry he rustled his paper while drinking his tea at breakfast……”really!!”.  If the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge had found out about this someone would have sent to the Tower of London for a very long time.

But , it wouldn’t have been all naughtiness going on.. No, this group is civilised, run by fine upstanding pillars of the community.  They were going to serve tea, pastries and sandwiches in between spanking lessons; so there was no need for the chairman to burst another blood vessel. It would have been a civilised BDSM event.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/...
30/09/13 source: bbcnews.co.uk

TV Time - Channel 4
Coming up on Channel 4 at 10pm on 7th October - "Sex Box", looks like a good watch.  Also on 4oD is Bi-curious Me and 40 yr old virgins.  Check them out and see what you think.

Having It All - Then Not
Let this be a warning to anyone who feels like being greedy. Going from several inches to zero with an overdose of blue pills won't impress the ladies, read on...

Link to read full article...
25/09/13 source: independent.co.uk


Pray For The Starving........ Strippers!!!!
I remember when I was at school I’d rush home to watch Blue Peter and in particular I’d wait for the latest Blu Peter famine appeal. Well … times have changed and things have moved on, because now people raise money for starving strippers. Come on.. you must have seen starving strippers hanging around the streets. They’re everywhere; bar, clubs, the internet, and some even get in the way to church and hey presto you accidentally marry one.
Well, this lady (can I call her that ??) is going one step further (too far if you ask me) by creating a ministry to help the starving strippers. Yes you did read that right…..a Ministry for them!!! That means you can give money and sing for them at the same time. It’s god's wish that strippers don’t starve. So next time you’re in a classy joint (cough !!!) and the stripper is all skin and bone… pray for her and sing a few hymns!... or better still start your own church for the unclothed dancers… and tell your wife (if she isn’t already the stripper) God told you to do it.
Shoving £10 down a strippers knickers just doesn’t get them enough food anymore.
But Pssssst… don’t come crying to me if she gets her own back with a sign saying “don’t feed the strippers”.

Link to read full article...
25/09/13 source: newser.com


That Will Never Work In The UK!
A new pastime to be included with walking, jogging and having a conversation while chatting to a policeman. But I see from the article that nothing is mentioned about cumming in public and cleaning it up !!!

Link to read full article....

19/09/13 source: independent..co.uk

Biggest Sex Challenge Ever?

Ania Lisewska, looks like she‘s about to go on a worldwide tour with her twin peaks, and have sex with 100,000 men which should take her about 3.8 years, according to the article.  No word on where to buy tickets if you fancy a go. But if you do happen to catch her in your town, make your you’re not last in the queue as Wellington boots are extra! And be prepared to hold her plate if she wants breakfast.

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02/09/13 source: huffingtonpost.com

Play fair!

Here's an article that had the whole world in stitches and not always the right ones. Not only was did he make the papers but also made TV as well. You have to admire him as much as cringe at the fact that's he's been very open about the incident.  Sounds like the man isn't quite into being anally violated and like his 3somes time spit (if you'll pardon the pun) a little more evenly.

Link to read full article...

30/8/13 source: theafrolounge.com

Sex In A Box?

Here's an article of interest. That I can't see ever being allowed in the UK due to out rather prudish laws:

Link to read full article...
28/8/13 source: reuters.com

Oi!

Can someone organise a fetish event on rollerskates please.  And hurry up please, I haven't got all day.
25/8/13
 

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